Friday, October 26, 2012

My Family and Other Animals

So far this year I have encountered a vast menagerie along the way whilst cycle touring. Here are a few of the star turns.

You gonna need a hand eating those sandwiches at all are you?

What so you think? Convincing? Apparently those Golden Retrievers made a bleedin' fortune at this during the 70s and 80s with their Guide Dogs for the Blind scam. No, none of it! Blew it all on big roll for the little ones. Wasted most of that too, so they did. All they did was run around the house dragging it behind them. Bunch of criminals that lot!

You want to take me with you! @JasperJRT who belongs to @FestinaGirl trying to hypnotise me into taking him with me. Look into my eyes...

Looking nonchalant, just before he stole my map. Git!


Oh, Jesus Christ!
With worm in beak en route back to feed the little ones in the nest.

Offspring fed, heading back out to find more grub.

I thought it was an otter but apparently it's a Coypu.

I was jolly surprised at the close-up quality of this taken with the iPhone.
Who you calling a slag? Stag! I said Stag Beetle. You watch it! I could take your finger off with these bad boys!

Woof. Woof. No, that's not right is it?!?

Oh, I've hundreds of impersonations in my repertoire. Check this one out... Run over by a car!

The biggest papillon de nuit that I ever did see. You can't really tell from the photo but this thing was about 3 inches long!

At the disaster that was wwoof five. This "thing" is a cat apparently. It looks more like a Jawa to me!

Ugly little bleeder ain't he!?!

It's a donkey jacket! Thank you. I'm here all week! In fact, I'm here all the bloody time. In the same field! I'm thinking of taking this stuff on the road though. Maybe forming a band or something, y'know. Him? Nah, he's not interested in that stuff, all he wants to do is eat grass all day. He's got no ambition at all that fella.

How on earth do all the other guys land on these things without crushing them? I must be doing something wrong!

I'm the black sheep of the family!

You talkin' to me?

Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? 

Well I'm the only one here.

Who the flip do you think you're talking to?

Please will you play "pull the blanket" with me?

Where's all this corn then?

Oh, I think I remember seeing some in the far field over yonder ;) Why don't you go get us some.

Heh, heh, heh. He fell for it again! Nom, nom, nom.

You're killing me!

Ok, what shall we play next? Yoghurt box on the head?

Quick! We gotta destroy the evidence before that brown fella gets back!

Job done.

Let's waddle!

What do you think of my beard? It's a goatee!

Heh, heh, heh.

What do you think of my beard? It's a go... He's told you already hasn't he? He's always stealing my lines that fella!

Eye. Eye.

You're not! You're a goose! But I can do the neck thing and everything! Go on then, let's have a gander. Oh yeah, so you can. But you're still a goose!

Wanna hear a joke?

Ok, it goes like this. I say, "What do you think of my beard?"

I've heard it before!

What do you think of my goatee? Do you mean beard? Oh bollocks, yeah! What do you think of my beard? You haven't got a beard. Shit!

If you see those ducks...

...will you let us know?

If you see those geese...

Hold on, it's in here somewhere.

He'll never find it. Seen it. Pinched it. Spent it.

Right, I'm gonna keep an eye on him from now on.

Are those two at it again? I can't watch this anymore.

They bore me rigid with their cat and mouse show.

Wake me when it's time to eat!

Try and take an arty one this time. Those lady cats go crazy for that stuff.

Did you get it then?

Honestly, there's something scratching around outside the window, I can hear it!

You were right. It's a bloody praying mantis!

See, I told ya. I'm just glad it wasn't a spider. I don't like spiders. Right, I'm going for a sleep.

Wake me when it's time to eat!

He'll love this when he wakes up!

If he wakes up that is! Although, even when he does, he won't be going very far since the other fellas tied his tail and paws together!

Right Colin, do you remember what you're supposed to say? Of course! Up here for dancing, down there for think...that's not right is it?!?

So, we're thinking of forming a band. You've heard of the Animals, the Beatles, Gorillaz and the Monkees right?

Well, we're calling ourselves Muse... No Colin, it's Mules! You're such an ass!

Jesus Christ! ...  Sorry :(

Please come back and see us again someday @Specialized_Guy.

How could you leave us? I never got to play yoghurt box on the head either!